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Transfer Deadline Day # 1

Arsenal have been busy busy busy today. They’ve confirmed the signings of two defenders: Mertesaker and Santos. Two great bits of business by the looks of things. Now all they need is some midfielders. Arteta is looking like the man they want, though if I were Wenger I’d be suspicious; he went through the Barcelona Academy. Perhaps he should have a DNA test as part of his medical.
Joe Cole has picked Lille (the French champions), over Aston Villa. You’ve got to feel sorry for Cole; he was supposed to be the next best thing and he’s….. well….. not. That signing fueled all sorts of rumours regarding Eden Hazard, but so far it looks like that ain’t happening.
Wilson Palacios and Peter Crouch still don’t know where they’ll be playing next season. Presumably they’ll go wherever you can get a better deal on a tube of Pringles. Those curved little buggers just get Crouchy dancing. Expect them to head up North somewhere.
Owen Hargreaves has signed on the dotted line for Man Citeh. Presumably they’re trying to keep their physios busy, after all they pay them and it’s not fair if they just sit around on their arses all day doing nothing.
Villa have made two underwhelming signings with Alan Hutton and Jermaine Jenas heading over to the second city. I envisage they got sold purely to fund…..
Last seasons Player of the Year – Scott Parker – has just signed for the Spurs. Great bit of business by that scamp ‘Arry ‘fuck off I’m a football manager, not a wheeler dealer’ Redknapp. Can’t believe nobody signed him before today.
Greasing the wheels of that transfer were the loan signings of Bentley and Lansbury. I reckon that West Ham have done a good bit of business there. And here was me thinking they were skint. Staying in the Championship momentarily, West Ham have also signed the player with the best name in world football; Papa Bouba Diop. I never get bored of saying that.
Christian Poulsen has come out of retirement at Liverpool to sign for France’s answer to Peckham Springs – Evian.
Zdenek Grygera signed for Fulham. Expect to see him worshipping at the shrine to Wacko Jacko any minute now – it’s in the contract.
Davide Santon went from Milan to Newcastle late last night. Boy, he’s in for a shock.
There have been some other transfers but none of them did anything for me, so I’m gonna pretend they didn’t happen.
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