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Come on Engerland!

The transfer deadline day fun is over, now it’s time for the internationals.
I love the premier league. It’s exciting. It’s fast. It’s full of controversy. In short – it’s shit hot. On the other hand, I hate internationals. They’re boring. They’re slow. They’re predictable. In short – they’re shit.
Now I don’t want you to mistake my discontent as a lack of patriotism. I’ll still watch the match, despite its inevitable crapness. Come World Cup time i’ll be in my local, wearing the three lions and screaming like dickhead as we crash out of the quarter-finals.
My dream is to one day watch Engerland win an international competition, I just can’t ever see it happening! Why? Because we’re a nation of sporting bottlers. Now I realise that’s a massive generalisation and not all English sportsmen and women choke at the do or die moments of their careers, but nobody can argue that our football team has got the composure and self belief to back up their obvious talent.
Over the years I think we’ve developed a nationwide allergy to penalties. When it comes down to it, our pessimism means we’ve missed the goal before we even kick the ball. This mental block, in my opinion, extends to more than just penalty kicks. Our players don’t believe they’re going to win, and so they don’t.
The media are definitely part of the problem. They are so intrusive and crank up the pressure whenever they get the chance. With their bullshit headlines they heap unwarranted and unnecessary expectation on the players.
I don’t think the lack of a winter break in this country helps things along either. Our players always look tired when it comes to the summer competitions.
We’ve maneuvered ourselves into this position over the last few years. We’ve got good enough players and so we expect them to perform as they do every week in the league and, by doing so, thrash every team that comes our way.
As well as our massively high expectations, if you add to the mix a bit of pressure from an intrusive media, the inevitable scandal involving at least one of our players who cant keep his dick in his pants, the change of climate and the fact that everyone wants to beat us because we’re a ‘scalp’, and you’ve got a whole host of reasons why we struggle on the biggest stage.
I’ll be watching the game tonight, despite the fact that its going to be dreary. I’ll be watching because I believe; I believe that one day, if we can put all our petty shit to one side, we might actually have a chance of winning something. Come on Engerland.
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