Well, that’s week four of this seasons Premier League put to bed, and what an interesting week it was. Here is my round-up…….
Arsenal 1 – 0 Swansea
Arsenal, by the skin of their balls, just scraped past Swansea. The Welsh team looked good on the ball and caused Arsenal all sorts of problems, they just didn’t have anything up front. It’s clear why they haven’t scored yet, their strikers are toilet. Arsenal looked nervous all over the pitch. Unless they pull their collective socks this is going to be a very long season for them.
Bolton 0 – 5 Man Utd
Bolton will be regretting not selling Gary Cahill. Not only have they lost out on millions, but his presence in the Wanderers back line seems to be non-existent. They’ve shipped 11 goals already this season. Manchester United we’re in imperious form. Wayne ‘The Hair’ Rooney has scored his second hat-trick in two games and I bet Arsene Wenger and Harry ‘fuck off I’m a football manager not a wheeler-dealer‘ Redknapp will be booking some of their players into clinics down Harley Street as we speak.
Everton 2 – 2 Villa
Everton and Villa pulled a predictable draw out of the bag. Predictable because they’re both pretty good teams and I had an inkling that they might cancel each other out.
Fulham 1 – 1 Blackburn
Well done to Blackburn for getting their first point of the season. Still, If they don’t get relegated this year I’ll eat my hat. They’ve got some decent players, but their manager Kean looks like a ‘yes man’ for the Venky’s and he’s already singing the excuses. When will people learn that you shouldn’t sack Fat Sam; he might roll out the most unimpressive football on the planet, but the man keeps his team up. I tell you what, there’s only one man who can save Blackburn now – Gary Megson.
Man City 3 – 0 Wigan
Manchester City are still looking good and comfortably put Wigan to the sword, but then they were always going to weren’t they! Like their neighbours (no, I don’t mean Oldham Athletic), they can’t seem to stop scoring goals for fun. This is going to be an interesting battle for the title methinks. There’s not a gnats pube between them, for my money.
Norwich 0 – 1 West Brom
Norwich City will (rightly) feel aggrieved not to have got something out of their game against WBA. They looked bright, although maybe lacking a little pace. West Brom showed their Premiership experience by being clinical when it mattered. Still, there is no excuse for the assault that Gabriel Tamas inflicted on James Vaughan in injury-time – it was a stone wall penalty and, once again, the ref missed it (he must have felt like a massive tit when he saw the blood pissing out of Vaughan’s mouth afterwards). Still, when it’s all said and done, this is the BIG TIME and Norwich got taught a lesson in ‘how to win dirty’ by West Brom.
QPR 0 – 0 Newcastle
QPR gave us a first look at their new team. Exciting times for the peeps at Loftus Road. I predict a long hard season, but i’ve got this feeling in my nuts that they’re going to stay up. Just. Newcastle will also be in the fight to stay up, but by the end they’ll have done enough. Though if they keep recycling good players then I can’t see their stay in the big league lasting forever. Didn’t watch this game, watched the BBC text service – wish I hadn’t bothered to be honest. What we writers do for you readers!
Stoke 1 – 0 Liverpool
Stoke proved that they’re here to stay with a good win over Liverpool. I think that the Karma Police reared their ugly heads at the very end of that game. Luis ‘I’m a big fat hand-balling cheat’ Suarez got booked in injury time for protesting too loudly after the ball-to-hand incident involving him and Matthew Upson. To be fair to him, it wasn’t the first clear handball of the game, but he’s had it coming since the cheating git did this.
Sunderland 1 – 2 Chelsea
Chelsea did exactly what they needed to if they intend on challenging the Manchester teams for the title; they won away at Sunderland. They’ve got a lot of strength in depth (Torres on the bench is testament to that) and lots of pace. I think they’re going to have a good season, but I don’t think they’ll win it. Maybe next year. Sunderland, without Gyan, looked a little limp. It’ll be interesting to see how high Bruce can steer them this season.
Wolves 0 – 2 Tottenham
Tottenham got back on the wagon after beating Wolves. To be honest, we all saw that coming, and it’s not a surprise that this got last billing on MOTD. Yawn…..